Ode to a Different Life

Hi Readers,

It's been a while! Sorry - my absence has been due to few different things like exams, work and just not feeling very inspired to write. But I definitely want to keep up the blog because it's something I love doing, I definitely love having a creative outlet like this where I can speak about what I want, and share things I love. 

Today's post is being written in the early hours, after a night of deep conversation and thinking about the past. When I meet new people, or get to know people and start becoming friends with them, I often find myself asking them; "if you could go back to being any age, what age would you go back to?" For me, the answer to this question is 16 years old. 

I was 16 in the year 2012, about to enter my last year of high school and I was blissfully happy for the whole year. I started the year off ending my first "proper" relationsh, and spent two weeks getting drunk (my newfound favourite thing to do at the time) with a group of friends that had the exact same mindset as me. I enjoyed showing off and getting attention from the people around me. I then moved on to having a summer school trip to Paris, where I met my next boyfriend. He was a big part of my happiness, but a lot of it also came from being just old enough to have the freedom to do more without needing my parents. Me and this boyfriend did so much together - gigs, nights out in the city, long walks, parties. All of it. But the beauty of it was that we weren't quite old enough to have real responsibilities yet. The perfect happy medium. 

The point of this post isn't to tell you the story of what I all did when I was sixteen, but more to comment on how bittersweet it can be to look back at the time you felt happiest, at the age you still feel inside. And as cheesy as this sounds, when you had the whole world at your feet and everything to look forward to. I'm not saying I'm unhappy now, because I am blissfully happy, and I realise I probably look back with rose-tinted glasses on but looking back I also realise how much I lost myself in the years between then and now. For around two years after school I wasn't me anymore, I didn't keep up any of the interests I'd had when I was sixteen - watching hours of makeup tutorials on youtube turned into not even being arsed to replace my eyeliner that had run out, playing my guitar for two hours at a time completely unaware of the outside world turned into listening to the same tired songs over and over again, my thirst for new music gone, long walks in the woods turned into vodka and lemonade in the pub after work in a job that made me miserable. It seemed I didn't have a personality anymore, and I was just blending into the people that surrounded me. Whatever they were, I was too. And it would be easy to blame this on the fact that people grow up, they change. But I knew that me was in there somewhere. Things you love don't just disappear. 

16 year old me // 21 year old me

When I moved to Aberdeen in 2015, and to Edinburgh especially last year, I realised that I was in the midst of a bit of an identity crisis - I had friends dotted about all over the country, but no one really close to me right in Edinburgh that was on my wavelength like I'd been used to my whole life. I ended up adjusting a bit to find myself where I am now - feeling more like myself than I ever have since I was sixteen. I chuckled to myself when I realised this was because I was starting to show traits of myself that I'd had at sixteen. My subtle eyeliner turned into big flicks, my hair got blonder, I was super excited about music again, my dress sense changed (I gave a shit about what I was wearing, and buying clothes that actually fit me after putting weight on instead of cramming myself into the same size 12 jeans I'd had for too many years) and my motivation got to losing weight and doing well in university. 

I know I can't ever be that sixteen year old girl anymore, but I loved me when I was her and it took me realising that the things I loved then are still what I love now to realise that its okay to feel like you're going back in time. To look back and be sad that you're in a different place, but also carry the wide-eyed ambition that little teenager had into my twenties and be excited for the future, like she was. It's ok to want to look like her, because she was blonde and skinny and healthy. She enjoyed spending hours watching hauls and staying up until 2am discovering new bands on youtube. She got outside and went for long walks and drank too much and laughed all the time. I'm not her anymore, and I won't be her again, but she's not a bad person to aspire to be like. 

Thanks for reading, and as always you can find me on; 

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DID THIRTEEN REASONS WHY GLAMOURISE SUICIDE?

Hi Readers,

Today I want to discuss the hit Netflix show 'Thirteen Reasons Why.' I'm sure you've already watched it, or at least heard of it because everyone and their dog's are talking about it just now. Just a heads up that this post contains no series spoilers, but will outline the basic plot. Trigger warning: the post may also contain some content that may upset or affect some people. 

Based on the novel by Jay Asher of the same name, Thirteen Reasons Why is about a girl named Hannah Baker who commits suicide, and leaves a series of recorded tapes to her colleagues, friends, love-interests and classmates who she claims led her to her death. 

Personally, I loved the show and I wish I'd known about the book before I'd watched it. The story is fantastic and the characters are so loveable, relatable and easy to watch. Absolutely incredible acting. The show is the perfect amount of dark, mixed with that slightly-too-cheesy high school theme. The story is so gripping you will not be able to stop watching, and I think I made it through the whole thing in about a week. My only criticism of the show is that it left me with a lot more questions than it did answers (ALEX??!?!?).

Now let's get into the nitty-gritty. Why has everyone been talking about this show? The series has been gaining a lot of traction and controversy in the media due to the idea that it glamourises suicide, sexual abuse and mental health issues. This, I would have to disagree with. I understand that the show might be exceptionally hard to watch for some people, and possibly triggering to those who have maybe attempted suicide, thought about committing suicide, have experienced some kind of sexual abuse or suffer from mental health issues, but just because a lot of people are watching it does not mean that the suicide in the show is being glamourised. For one, Hannah Baker doesn't kill herself and is then put on a pedestal by the whole high school - a lot of the people who receive her tapes dislike her and call her a liar for what she says and how she effectively blames them for her killing herself. Also, the scene where she commits suicide is incredibly hard to watch, to the point where I felt myself having to look away. This does not make suicide look fun and glamourous. It is real, it is slow, it is painful. 

I also like that the show makes people think. I do not for one second hold the belief that suicide is 'selfish' or a 'coward's way out', but Thirteen Reasons Why was really good at making you think about the impact you leave on the world, without even knowing it. So many people were affected by Hannah Baker's suicide, and it'd be the same for all of us - whether we know it or not. 

Lastly, I'm glad this show is getting people talking about this - suicide, sexual assault and mental health issues are a huge part of our society unfortunately, and I'm glad to see a show convey the effects of them in an honest way. This stuff shouldn't be easy to watch, and it needs to be talked about in order to make a change. According to Rape Crisis, approximately 85,000 women and 12,000 men are raped in England and Wales alone every year; that's roughly 11 rapes (of adults alone) every hour. However, only 15% of those who experience some kind of sexual violence choose to report it to the police. Shows like this are going to change that and that's why it is a good thing that so many people watched the show, and that's why it's important that shows like this are made in the first place. 

Now, one thing I will say about the show is that I don't agree with Hannah Baker's tape method. It was incredibly mean and a little hypocritical, if you ask me. It was also incredibly unfair that she didn't leave her parents any kind of explanation. However, I will say that if you're at the point of suicide, because people have driven you there, I can totally understand why someone would do what she did - if you truly don't care about life anymore, you're not going to care about hurting someone's feelings. Also, the show is still a means of entertainment, despite all the messages it sends, and the tape plot makes it much more interesting as a show. 

In all I think the show was so great because it was so honest. It was honest about high school, and the lack of support for mental health (and preventing suicides before they actually happen), it was honest about suicide itself, honest about the effects of suicide on the people left behind, honest about sexual abuse and 'locker room talk' amongst young men in schools and colleges who are rapists, and honest in the fact that these things need to change. 

So thats my ten cents on Thirteen Reasons Why, I hope you enjoyed this post. The last thing I want to say is fuck Courtney, she didn't deserve to breathe the same air as Hannah Baker. 

If you're struggling with mental health issues, problems at home, suicidal thoughts, sexual assault, etc., you can call the Samaritans on 116 123. Their website is also full of information. 

Thank you for reading, you are not alone. 

As always, you can catch me on; 

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HEAL THE WORLD

Hi Readers,

Sorry I've been gone for so long but I am back! My absence has been due to a mixture of being sick, stressed and working non-stop. 

This week I'm writing a bit of a sad post, probably because I feel sad today. Sad about the world in general. How do you choose what to write about when there are so many attacks, shootings, bombs, threats to write about in the space of even a week? How is it fair to write about one and not the others? 

This week I was studying memory, and whilst writing out my notes I wrote down the definition of 'flashbulb memories' - detailed recollections of when and where we heard about shocking events. This got me thinking at the age of just 21, how many flashbulb memories do I already have? How many do my parents have? My grandparents? 

I think my first is probably 9/11, I was almost 6 years old and in our old kitchen sat a tiny box TV on top of our kitchen fridge. I have the vaguest memory of seeing one of the towers in smoke on that TV and my mum standing unable to take her eyes off what was happening in front of her as I sat at the kitchen table.  Next was probably the London Bombings, which I have an even more vague memory of despite being older. 

More recently was the Charlie Hebdo shootings, and the hostage situation that followed. The Paris attacks, the Boston Marathon, Brussels and more. 

Then in the past couple of weeks we've seen an attack on Westminster, a chemical attack in Syria, the US launching bombs in Syria, and now the Dortmund football team's bus has been bombed. These are just some attacks from a list of 53 this month on wikipedia. 

All of this makes me feel so hopeless, like what is the point in fighting ISIS, or terrorists in general - where do we start? Isn't it just easier to convince ourselves to just give in and go along with what they want? I think this then immediately think no, this is not how I should be thinking. We can fight them and we will, we just need to work out how. 

But these thoughts also lead me to thinking about what the root cause of the problem is. And to me, it is religion. I often wonder how much more evolved we'd be as the human race if religion hadn't been holding us back for so many hundreds of years (note - I'm talking about all religion, not just one). It also baffles me how people can believe so wholeheartedly in a God (or Gods, whoever that may be) that they are willing to kill and live their whole lives according to what their God supposedly wants, because it says so in a book they may or may not have written thousands of years ago.

I think the thing that annoys me most about religion is its reluctancy to progress. Imagine if we stuck with the first pieces of technology simply because they were there first. I wouldn't be sitting on my MacBook writing this post with an iPhone 6 sitting next to me. I wouldn't be able to watch a film, read the news and take a photo all from one device. I wouldn't be able to make a cup of tea or play my music through my speakers. How much have we learned and evolved in the last 100 years simply because of technology? Now how much further do you think we'd be if religion was willing to change and mould with the times too. 

The world is a scary place just now, and all these attacks with no clear way to stop them makes my head feel jumbled up and messy (kind of like this post). I just want to scream at everyone to shut up, take a few deep breaths and calm it down. How did humanity get to a point where we have imaginary lines in the land that mean that people can't come and live here? How did we end up having these huge fights about religion and whose God is the 'real' God? How did people end up stabbed, bombed, shot and attacked for living their life differently to others? 

How do we fix it? 

Times like these I often remember Enter Shikari's lyric; "fear begins to vanish when we realise that countries are just lines drawn in the sand with a stick."

Sorry for this jumbled, rambly post but I needed to vent this somehow. My thoughts go out to all the victims and their family's of all the shocking attacks in the last few weeks and months. Remember that love trumps hate and be kind to people. As always you can find me on; 

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THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG WITH OUR GENERATION

Hi Readers,

Today I want to talk about a video I stumbled across on Facebook this morning. Its a talk show, with a man named Simon Sinek discussing everything that's wrong with Millennials. It's around 15 minutes long, if you want to watch it, click here. What bugged me from the start was that there was a huge caption around the video that said "THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG WITH OUR GENERATION," and then I started to watch it...

The video starts off with Sinek discussing what a Millennial is and the kind of stereotypes that are involved with being one, things like lazy and entitled. He says that we are insatiable, we get jobs and aren't happy, so we complain because we want "free food and bean bags" and when we get those, we're still not happy. This was the first red flag for me during this video. The first thing that came into my mind was that if we remain in the same work environment as the generation before us, or if they remained in the generation before them nothing would ever progress. The only way to progress is to speak up about what we're unhappy about to make change happen - something I think millennials are very good at. Look at the LGBTQ+ community and how far it has come in the last twenty-or-so years, look at Black Lives Matter, look at how our generation views the Muslim community compared to past generations. We are amazing at creating social, technological and environmental changes simply by speaking up and letting the world know when we are unhappy.

He then splits his argument into four main categories which he thinks explain why Millennials are idiots, basically. First of all he says that we are lazy and entitled and all that because of failed parenting strategies. He says that we have an entitled sense of self because we spend our lives being told we are special and winning participation awards, etc. This I can't agree with, I know from personal experience and from looking around at my friends, peers and colleagues that encouragement is often what drives individuals into competitiveness. If I think of the people in my home community that have received no encouragement or praise from their parents, they are the ones in the pub at 11am, or the ones doings drugs or committing crimes. The ones who have been encouraged and praised are in steady jobs earning a good wage, or graduating from university. The main focus of this point in the video is also that we develop a sense of entitlement in adolescence because of being treated this way in childhood - but our parents are not the only people we learn from and interact with before adolescence. Teachers, friends, other adults, children and everyone else you may encounter also have a huge impact.

Sinek's second category is a personal favourite of mine when people decide to slate millennials; technology. He goes on what's probably around a five minute rant about how we are too invested in social media, we're addicted to our phones because of the dopamine release (which is basically the happy hormone that is released when we get a reply to a text message, or have sex, or get drunk or gamble). He even compares millennials on social media to young teenagers having their pick of a full liquor cabinet. My first thought when I heard this was that not everything we look at is social media, we don't all mindlessly scroll through Facebook all the time. For example, I don't have a TV and I don't read the newspapers, so technology is my main way of reading the news. Also as a student, the internet is one of my main learning environments, as well as a place of discussion, of creativity and more. For example, Sinek also makes the point that we are as a generation more depressed because we are not forming strong enough social support networks, but I know people that, including myself, would be a lot lonelier if they couldn't speak to their loved ones through social media. However, a point he made that I did agree with was that there is an imbalance of technology usage - we use our phones too often as an escape from a tricky situation, or when we're alone instead of making conversation with someone.

Thirdly, Sinek argues that our need for instant gratification is why we are lazy and entitled as a generation. We are too used to having things instantly that when it comes to things that there aren't apps for such as job satisfaction or a strong relationship, we can't deal with it. However, I know for a fact that millennials aren't the only ones using Amazon because its so fast - my Gran uses it! And even if it was, isn't that what's so great about the present day? We can get things fast. We can move on and better ourselves fast because the things that make us happy or the things we need don't take weeks to arrive. Sinek in this section also makes a point about us not knowing job satisfaction because we quit too fast because we don't get the instant gratification. It really annoyed me how he could so quickly generalise so many millions of people from different countries and cultures. I know people that have worked since the age of 13, I know people who have had the same job since they left school and I know people that can't stay 2 months in one job. WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME.

Sinek's last point is the environment, and how it isn't our fault that every single one of us is lazy and entitled because we were born into and raised in a corporate environment. The environment doesn't care about us, it just cares about numbers, etc. etc. etc. My argument to that is that I think the corporate environment we live in has driven millennials to fight and speak up for what they want, and question things when they think something's wrong. I think it's led us to have a backbone and not just go along with what we're told to do. He also makes a point about how we'd feel better if we worked for a long time compared to how we feel when we get instant gratification, but we still experience that? I've known athletes that have done a certain sport since they were 10 years old, kids whose happiest moment is leaving high school after 11 or 12 years, adults who graduate university as well as people who have stuck in jobs for the last 5 years since school.

What I saw when I watched this video was a bitter man from a different generation, talking about a generation he seems to have nothing to do with and generalising millions of young adults and teenagers, despite the fact that he probably takes part in all the activities he said made us lazy and entitled. Of course there are problems in the millennial generation just like there have always been problems in every other generation, but we are passionate, hard-working, ambitious and are making huge changes and contributions to the world, and to me that's everything that's exactly right with this generation.

Thanks for reading, and as always you can find me on;
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USA ELECTION // 2016

Hi Readers,

I don't want to do a huge rambling post about politics, because I know there's a huge amount of that going around today. I just wanted to write a quick piece to weigh in my opinion.

I said it with Brexit and I'll say it again, democracy in the USA worked yesterday. The whole point of having elections is so that we can fairly vote for who is in power, and the same thing has happened in this Presidential election.

However, I am in absolute disbelief that a man who is so spiteful, vindictive, racist, sexist and a homophobe has won (by a fair amount) the presidency.

The campaigns were absolutely appalling - for two professional candidates who are supposed to be making their country and the world a better place, they both sure did do an awful lot of name-calling and pointing out mistakes that the other had made. In my opinion a strong candidate would have been more focused on policy and how they were going to improve the situation.

I also agree with the number of tweets I've seen this morning that highlight how ridiculous it is that a country would rather have a man of Trump's nature in power instead of a woman with a lifetime of experience. Although I also agree that the first female president should be a stronger candidate than Clinton (please run, Michelle!).

I also feel so bad for Obama. After almost a decade of hard work, Trump has already said that many of the major points are going to be reversed on his first day in office, for example gun-free zones around schools. Obama did a lot for America and I can't imagine how he feels right now. It just takes a quick look around on snapchat, twitter, facebook to see how scared and worried Americans, and especially minority Americans, feel about their new President. The volume of protests already breaking out all over the US speaks volumes, and I can absolutely see how worrying it is for Americans, and the rest of the world.

It's heartbreaking that we can make so many leaps and bounds forwards with acceptance, love and equality only for someone filled with spite and anger to take power and prepare to tear it all down. Let's hope Trump will listen to his people and what his people want instead of just using his power for himself. Let's hope a man with multiple sexual harassment accusations doesn't remain in power for more than one term. Let's hope that love really does trump hate.

I always say this around times of big political movements and change, but when you're on the internet today please don't believe everything you read without checking sources and dates! A lot of old footage, stats, pictures, etc. resurface at times like these and they're often exaggerated and twisted. Be careful.  Thank you for reading! As always, find me on;
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HOW SHOULD THE WORLD DEAL WITH PAEDOPHILES?

Hi Readers,

Firstly I need to apologise for being so irregular with this blog! From now on posts really will be up on a Sunday at 10am! This is an extra for you after seeing a video on Facebook that put so many thoughts in my head I had to write about it. I want this to be a discussion though, so leave a comment down below on your thoughts about this or let me know via my social media links! Let's talk about this. 

So, while aimlessly scrolling through my Facebook feed tonight, I came across a video on the BBC Three page (you can watch it here) all about the Indonesian President's announcement that he wishes to start chemically castrating paedophiles in order to "reduce sex crimes and wipe them out over time." Many doctors have already said that they will simply refuse to carry out this treatment, to which the President has said that they will find doctors elsewhere, such as military doctors. 
So what exactly is chemical castration? The video defines it as "the use of drugs to reduce a person's sex drive." Chemical castration is used in countries such as Poland, South Korea, the US and believe it or not, right here in the UK (this surprised me too). Many human rights groups in Indonesia and worldwide are already speaking out about this, saying that money would be better spent looking after victims of paedophilia instead of treating them. 

Let's look at this from both sides. There is a high rate of recidivism within paedophiles (recidivism is the relapse into criminal behaviour). Serendip Studio claims that 75% of child molesters are convicted more than once. However, it should be noted that there is a difference between a child molester and a paedophile - not all paedophiles will act upon their fantasies! Administering chemical castration has proven to reduce the abilities of paedophiles to assault children. It does this by counteracting biological and chemical tendencies and gives paedophiles a better chance of rehabilitation. On the other hand, it has also been stated that unless chemical castration treatment is maintained, offenders will end up with increased testosterone and are more likely to have renewed sexual fantasies. This means the treatment would have to be done repeatedly, which is obviously costly, time consuming and potentially not all that effective. The drug used, Depo-Provera (used in the US) also has some nasty side effects such as depression, fatigue, diabetes and blood clots. This could be dangerous, especially in the case of depression as paedophiles are more likely to act upon and have increased fantasies when they feel desperate, sad and lonely. 

Now let's consider alternatives - The Atlantic claims that only 15-20% of sex offenders commit new offences after release from an institution or prison. This means that surely therapy or early detection and support before an offence has been committed would be more effective in preventing paedophilia. Chemical castration is also not a cure, just a way of dulling down fantasies by reducing testosterone. Speaking to the Telegraph, convicted sex offender Peter, who underwent the treatment even says "it hasn't cut [fantasies] down 100%." 

In my opinion, which I think is probably clear reading this (although I tried really hard to tell both sides), I don't agree that paedophiles should be chemically castrated. If it was 100% a cure, then perhaps, but it's not. I agree with Human Rights activists that money would be better spent on supporting victims as well as paedophiles in the form of therapy programs, rehabilitation programmes, etc. I also think that instead money could be used to improve prison systems, which just now only add to feelings of desperation, sadness and loneliness within criminals, which as aforementioned only leads to a higher chance of recidivism. 

What do you think? Leave me a comment below. All the links to websites I gathered information from are also below, as well as my social media links! See you on Sunday and thanks for reading!

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WEBSITE LINKS:
BBC 3 Video
Serendip Studio
The Telegraph
The Atlantic

IT'S OK TO SAY NO

Hi Readers,

After having not one but two separate conversations about this in the last week, I thought it'd be a good post to write. If you take one piece of advice from me, from this blog or otherwise its this; it's ok to say no. 

After chatting with a close friend a few days ago, she expressed the feeling that she was apprehensive about going to a boy's house because she wasn't yet ready to have sex with him. I simply replied with 'well just don't have sex with him then?' to which she said that she'd pretty much feel obligated to if she went over. 
On a separate occasion on a night out with friends, one guy started to get too close to my friend to the point where she asked not to be left alone with him. She also said that she felt bad for rejecting him. 
That same night, while out dancing, a man came over to us and started dancing with us in quite a provocative way. I instantly got an uncomfortable feeling around him so I turned my back to him and carried on. He then proceeded to put his hand on my behind and left me slapping his arm off numerous times while shouting at him that that wasn't ok. 

Let's start with the basics shall we?  If someone says yes, then changes their mind, it's a no. If someone says no, it's a no. If someone can't say yes or no, it's a no. 

Recent research has found that four in ten teenage girls in England have experienced 'sexual coercion.' This means that someone has had to convince them or pressure them into doing something that they were unsure about or didn't want to do. I don't know about you, but that sounds a bit like rape to me. 

I think it's so important at a time when more than ONE IN THREE women experience some kind of sexual assault in their lives and at a time when only 6% of these women report these assaults to the police, we teach people that it's absolutely ok to say no. Anyone with an ounce of respect will not be offended by you saying no, they won't think any less of you or call you names. If they do, then pat yourself on the back because you dodged a bullet. Also think of it this way, what kind of person actually enjoys having sex with someone they know didn't really want to do it in the first place. Always remember as well that 'no' is a complete sentence, you never have to explain or justify your reasons for saying no when it comes to not wanting to have sex.


But this isn't about the person doing the pressuring, it's about you. If you're uncomfortable or not ready to go that far with someone, don't be afraid to say no. Save yourself the regret, the upset, the horrible feeling and the displeasure of partaking in something that you don't want to do. Doesn't sound fun to me. 

I also like to believe that if we can all get better at saying no, rather than 'just going along' with something we don't want to do, this could lead to the courage of more rapes and sexual assaults being reported to the police and even better processes for reporting these assaults and better aftercare for victims of sexual assault. 

In an age full of victim shaming, it's a shame that we have to teach people that it's ok to say no rather than the notion that 'no means no' being built into people's brains and I don't for one second think it's right that we have to teach people that saying no is ok. Please never feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do, it's absolutely ok to say no. 

I also just want to apologise for these statistics being all related to women. I completely understand that sexual assault and sexual coercion doesn't just happen to women, I just thought considering that my personal experiences with this topic earlier in the week had women affected, and most of my readers are women it would be more relevant. If you'd like to read more about the research conducted on English schoolgirls, click here.

Thank you so much for reading, and as always you can find me on; 
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#WeAreOrlando

Hi Readers,

I was unsure about whether or not to do this post but it is something very close to my heart and I feel it is too important not to talk about. I want to add in a quick disclaimer that these are my own personal opinions gathered from the information I've read about the situation. 

I want to write this post from three angles, the first being religion.
The shooter, Mateen, although the CIA found no links between him and ISIL swore allegiance to the organisation in a 911 call during the attacks and said he was committing this atrocious crime because of American bombing campaigns in Iraq.
I am of the opinion that an entire religion should not be deemed as dangerous because of the actions of a few extremists, even though these actions are horrendous. I'm sure you've read this a million times before but just as all Christians are not KKK members, not all Muslims are terrorists. 

In fact, I find it a bit sad that a man who was so torn between his religion and his sexuality resulted in committing the worst mass shooting in modern US History. I have also said for a long time that religion is often a dated and old-fashioned mindset (again, not true for all who practice religion) and although I can understand how helpful and meaningful it is for some, I do believe it needs to be brought forward into modern times and beliefs.

Secondly, I want to discuss American gun laws. Any law-abiding citizen is allowed to own or carry a gun in the US. I understand the argument that some people are completely trustworthy with guns and should be allowed them. But after reading certain statistics it only seems logical to me that if the means of these mass shootings were taken away, the catastrophic amount of casualties would not exist. In all wars that have been fought by America since 1776, there have been 1.4 Million casualties. In household deaths caused by guns in America, there have been 1.4 million deaths since 1968. The same amount of Americans who died fighting in WWII is the same amount who have died by household firearms since 2001. 
In the US, the most deaths caused by firearms are as a result of suicide, and so you also have to wonder that if US citizens could not access guns so easily, would there be such a volume of suicides? There's nothing much more I can actually say other than if Americans don't have such an easy access to firearms, then not as many people will be killed as a result of them. 

Finally, I want to discuss what I believe to be the most important issue in this horrendous situation. The LGBTQIA community. For over 100 people to be killed and injured just because they were born with a certain type of sexuality is disgusting and so deeply upsetting. When will people understand that this is not a choice? That it is completely normal? That we need to move into the 21st Century and accept people for their contributions to the world, for their personalities and the energy they project to other people. This links back to my point about religion - for us to still not accept everyone in the LGBTQIA community because it should be a born-man loving a born-woman is such an old fashioned point. One of Mateen's 20+ lovers has come forward and said that the shootings were caused because he discovered one of his partners was HIV positive. Maybe if we spent less time practising hatred towards a huge community of people and more time educating children from day one that it is okay to not be straight, they would learn more about practising safe sex and protecting themselves from things like HIV and shootings like this would not happen. 

We have identified homosexual behaviour in over 400 species of animals, homophobia only exists in one. 

#WeAreOrlando.

THE IMPORTANCE OF IDOLS

Hi Readers,

I want to start by apologising for the lack of posts for the last couple of weeks. Last week I sat my final exam, so I've been super busy revising, stressing and freaking out over the future! Instead I thought I'd post tonight as well as on Sunday so that I'm semi-caught up! 

If you were mad enough to read the first version of this blog about three years ago, where I was massively inconsistent and all over the place, you may remember a post I did about meeting the people you idolise. This is kind of a recreation of that post. 

The inspiration behind this post comes from the highly publicised story a few years ago involving Ian Watkins, the singer from the Lostprophets. In case you didn't know, the singer was convicted of some of the worst sex offences you could possible imagine, which is even what the judge of the case at the time said. He was sentenced to thirty-five years in prison for offences involving incredibly young children, alongside the mother of one of these babies who encouraged the whole ordeal. 

The story shocked everyone, but especially the fans of the band, including me. An old friend of mine attended a Lostprophets concert around two months before Watkins' crimes hit the media. Like many people do after a concert, he waited around outside to meet his favourite band, only to be disappointed when the lead singer was ushered away from fans and straight onto the tour bus. The devastation he caused to his family, friends and anyone involved with him was massive, but to the people who had no idea what he was really like and idolised him so much so that he was in a position to use his fame to commit these crimes were arguably even more shocked and upset by his actions. 

This led me to thinking about whether we should ever aspire to meet our idols. After almost any rock gig, fans will crowd around tour buses in the hopes that their favourite band will come out and take photos with them. I have friends who have been invited to parties with their favourite bands. Everyone I know has been lucky in that the idols they have met have been polite and courteous to them. But the people we see on camera, in videos or movies are not real people. Anyone in any kind of limelight will act in a certain way in order to make fans and admirers happy, which means that when we meet them we are often disappointed. We put famous people on such high pedestals that when we realise they are just normal people it can have an enormous effect on us. So maybe it is better to go to a gig and simply enjoy the music and atmosphere, or go to the cinema and enjoy a movie than it is to go all the way to be disappointed by your idol just for the sake of a new Facebook profile picture. If we can be happy in continuing our perception of our favourite famous people, and consider that meeting them will always be unachievable those idols will always be good, funny, romantic, or whatever they portray from a distance. If we never seek to meet and become friends or lovers with our idols and these things remain fantasies to us, then we can never be disappointed by the people we hold highest in the world. 

Ian Watkins was a horrific, unimaginable exception, but now I'm happy to say that I never took a photo with him. I never told him I loved him (except one time when I tweeted him in 2010 asking him to marry me), and I never felt bitterly disappointed by the way he acted towards me when I met him, because I never did. When his horrific story came to light, it was easy to dismiss him as a monster. This, I feel, would be much harder to do if you were disappointed by someone you had one perception of that let you down in person.

As always thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this post! Let me know what you think - have you been disappointed by a famous person? Also be sure to come back on Sunday for my May Favourites! See you then! x

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RIP PRINCE

Hi Readers,

It is with a heavy heart today that I write this post - one of the most influential singers, songwriters and guitars of multiple generations passed away this week, as I'm sure you have all heard. Prince Rogers Nelson was a true icon, with new music which showed us all how sex, funk, rock and pop could all be merged into one. He broke the barriers of male standards, and what 'men' had to be like by wearing heels, makeup and eccentric clothing, as well as breaking musical barriers and writing songs that he released himself and for others that will be remembered until the end of time.

This is my personal tribute to a legend, and although we've lost many amazing artists already this year, such as David Bowie, Prince was an influence that I personally felt within my lifetime. If you ask me who my favourite guitarists are I will list people like Steve Vai, Santana, Jeff Beck and Gary Moore, as well as Prince who is always mentioned on my list, and I think somewhat was always slightly under-appreciated as a guitarist.

As a child I can remember the funk and rock rhythms of Prince blasting through the house on a Sunday morning while the housework was done, his greatest hits album a constant throughout my childhood. It is influences from artists such as Prince which have shaped a lot of my musical interests today, from bands like Daft Punk and the 1975 which I think all have Prince-elements to them. Prince will go down in history with the likes of Michael Jackson, Freddy Mercury and David Bowie as a truly unique and original artist and will be remembered for the rest of time.

 RIP Prince Rogers Nelson.

THE IMPORTANCE OF FEMINISM

Hi Readers,

With all that’s been going on in the media and the online world this week I thought it’d be silly to not write a post about this hot topic – feminism. In this day and age, I feel like it’s almost impossible to not be a feminist, and more importantly; why wouldn’t you want to be? Feminism is "a range of political movements, ideologies and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, personal, and social rights for women" and I find it so hard to believe that in the modern (specifically Western) world there are still people who don’t identify as someone who believes in the equality of both men and women.

There are four main points I’d like to discuss throughout this post, all things that have been signs to me that I needed to write this post. I’m going to try and keep it as short as possible, I know I’m liable to tangents and rambling!

The first frustration that caused me to write this post stemmed from a heated discussion in one of my sociology classes a couple of weeks ago. The discussion started out as being about race and ethnicity, but when the tutor told us an anecdote, this moved onto gender issues and feminism. The story the tutor told us was about a staff meeting she attended in which some departments were reflecting on the recent change resulting in the Sports and Cooking courses merging together. One of the student evaluations had read something along the lines of ‘that Eastern girl was HOT… and she could cook.’ Yes, believe it or not this was the evaluation that teacher had decided to use as an example of the success of the two departments merging, which says a million things about why feminism is important on its own. The discussion was kicked off by one girl raising her hand and saying something similar to ‘it’s just a laugh… people are too oversensitive these days.’ This brings me to the point of this paragraph. Even if people are ‘too oversensitive’ (which personally, I don’t think they are considering that poor girl who has probably been working as hard as she can to pass her cooking course but all the students AND TEACHERS can comment on is her image) there is always going to be an issue unless we start to pick up and point out every time someone is affected, on no matter what scale. Oversensitivity is good, it means we’re not standing for a problem anymore and things are beginning to change.

In the past month it has been unfair to mention feminism and not Kesha. You have no doubt at least caught the gist of what her recent story has been, but just in case you haven’t, in a nutshell she is being forced to remain in a contract with her producer who allegedly physically and mentally abused her. The high publicity of this case has caused thousands of people (not just women) to take to twitter and facebook and show their support, voicing their opinions that this is not ok. As well as doing a lot for feminism this case has also raised a lot of awareness about victim-shaming (but that’s a whole other post!)

Thirdly, I wanted to mention Kim Kardashian’s selfie. Her naked picture that she posted on the internet received a mixture of support and backlash. Personally, I thought it was great and her open letter that she posted in response to the backlash was especially good. It is amazing to see a strong woman, a mother of two and someone under so much scrutiny be so comfortable in their own skin. More than that, she even says she’s empowered by it, how many of us can honestly say that? I know I can’t. I think it’s great that Kim has been able to inspire so many women to be body confident and to embrace their imperfections and unique bodies.

Last of all, it was obviously International Women’s Day this week and I think this is the most participation and recognition I’ve ever seen it get. Good, this also means things are changing. Although I did see one article that immediately asked, without even acknowledging IWD, ‘why isn’t there an International Men’s Day.’ Because every day is men’s day! White men are at the top in our society and we need IWD and other days like this in order to move forward and change the system.

So Happy International Women’s Day ladies! I hope you (women and men) enjoyed this post!

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POSITIVITY & PRODUCTIVITY

Hi Readers,

I had the idea for this post a couple of weeks ago, and got a batch of fresh inspiration from Hank Green (youtube link at the end of this post) where he spoke in his most recent video about choosing the harder option (like getting out of bed early and going for a walk) over the easy option (having a lie-in). I want to talk about what I do to make sure I stay feeling positive and productive, even when I have a lazy day. 
As I mentioned in my first ever post, I felt myself getting into a bit of a rut at the end of last year, where I was staying up all night and sleeping all day, until around 4pm. It was ridiculous and feeling myself doing this over and over again made me feel really depressed. However, we all need our lazy days and I have some rules for myself that even when I am having my lazy day, I like to feel like I've achieved something, or at least go to bed feeling good. Some of these may seem completely obvious but when I was down in that lazy rut, they were things I genuinely wouldn't do. I hardly left my bed all day. I hope this helps! 

Diet
I cannot stress enough how my energy levels have improved since I made a few simple changes to my diet. Less fatty foods (I'm still prone to the odd pizza hut, it's all about moderation) and simple substitutions such as veg with your meal instead of chips, for example, make you feel so much better. I also force myself to drink at least three pints of water every day (women should drink at least 2 litres per day, men should drink at least 2.5) to keep myself hydrated and feeling a bit fresh. 

Personal Hygiene 
This is probably where you'll think 'duh!' but on your lazy days, keeping yourself clean will make you feel so much better about doing nothing in your day. Make sure you have a shower, a wash will get rid of your smelly 'I-haven't-left-my-bed-all-day' feeling and washed hair will just make you feel more refreshed and clean. Also, brush your teeth. A lazy day makes everything about you lazy, and if you don't leave your bed all day it's easy to think that one night won't make any difference, but it makes a difference mentally if nothing else. Wash your face and moisturise before you go to sleep and avoid sleeping in your clothes. If you've had an ultra lazy day and haven't changed out of your pajamas, change them, I promise you'll feel better for it. 

Technology
When you decide it's time to finally go to sleep, turn off everything. Don't go to bed with your phone beside you, your TV still on or Netflix running in the background. The blue light that comes off your laptop or TV has psychologically proven to prohibit your sleep. I make a point every night to spend at least half an hour with a book, or something else that doesn't involve electronics to wind down. 

Fresh Air

Leave the house, at least once. Even if you just walk to the end of your street and back it will clear out the cobwebs and change your surroundings for a little bit and helps to make you feel less cooped up in the one place. 

To-Do Lists
We all have a never-ending list of things we need to do, whether it be coursework, job-related, chores or otherwise. Try and do at least one thing on your list each day, even if it's just taking the bin out, to give yourself some sense of achievement and productivity and it almost justifies your lazy day. 

I hope you enjoyed this post and as always, you can follow me on the platforms below. Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your comments/tips that help you stay positive & productive, leave a comment!
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Hank & John Green's Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/user/vlogbrothers

TO BALDLY GO // MY EXPERIENCE WITH TRICHOTILLOMANIA

Trichotillomania is the OCD-like disorder which compels it's sufferers to pull out their hair; whether it be eyebrows, eyelashes, head hair, pubic hair or any other type. Basically if it grows on you, 'trichsters', as they are commonly known, will pull it. Be warned, however, that having this condition does not mean that hair is pulled from everywhere, most only feel the urges on one or two places on the body. 

Trichotillomania gives sufferers the physical urge to pull out their hair, and speaking from experience, the urges are strong and inconsolable. The more you pull, the more your body itches for 'just one more hair' to come out. 

Although the causes of the disorder are technically unknown, it is generally accepted that a chemical imbalance within the brain is the main culprit. 

My case could be a lot worse, and I don't suffer nearly as bad as some of the powerful men and women I've seen as part of the Facebook group for the condition. Although I can't remember exactly how old I was, my case started around the age of 12, 13 or 14, when I first started properly wearing makeup, specifically mascara. Twiddling my fingers over this foreign substance lacquered onto my eyelashes often caused two or three eyelashes to come out by accident. This slowly led to physically pulling the mascara off, which meant four or five lashes would come out. I quickly progressed to inspecting every inch of the hair, to the point where I could no longer blow them of my finger, but I had to stick them onto my mirror so I could see them in more detail. This is when the urges started. Imagine you have an itchy foot, but you can't itch it properly because you have big, heavy boots on that take ten minutes to undo. You have to try and deal with the urge to itch in every means possible without trying to take off your boot. This is what resisting an urge feels like, it's never truly satisfied. 

I started pulling my head hair out when I became deeply unhappy at my job as a Legal Secretary. I fell into a rut and got involved with all the wrong people, and hated the woman I worked for because of the way she treated me. Before I knew it, there were bald spots emerging on the top of my head and my trich had spread to a whole new level. 

Personally, I find that stressful experiences, such as too much college work, arguments with people close to me, or thinking too deeply about something cause me to pull out my head hair, most of the time it's a response that happens automatically, and I don't even notice I'm doing it. This has resulted in loads of little tufts of hair all down my parting. However, I can so much as rub my eyes and feel the need to pull out eyelashes, no stressor involved. I can hardly remember a time where there wasn't at least a gap along my eyelids. 

The condition does affect me everyday but I'm thankful that I've never had to shave my head or take medication to stop myself, although behavioural therapy is on the cards. I would urge people to educate themselves on conditions like this because they are taken far too lightly. 

Next time you see a bald woman, don't automatically dub her a lesbian, or a drug addict. Next time you see someone who has obviously drawn on their eyebrows, don't call them a 'chav' or 'slut' for wearing 'too much makeup.' 

Think twice, life is trichy.